#or ''i like this but dont really have any use for it''

[anarchistabsol]

This is pretty good advice, but it seems you didn't read your own source. The doctor being used as a source for information says multiple times that there is no true, perfectly safe way to bind. He also says that there are not any medically created nor regulated binders. So commercial binders like these are often all people have.

Towards the bottom:

With that in mind, and so little other research available, Dr. Ng says there’s no data that says conclusively whether it’s better to use commercial binders over other methods.

“We should look at commercial binders as a potential tool but approach them like other health and wellness products that aren’t fully tested — like, for example, vitamins and supplements, which aren’t regulated,” he says. “Binders might do the job and provide a desirable outcome, but they’re currently not regulated, so we just don’t know yet whether they cause long-term problems.”

I think that's a much more nuanced and better way of saying things in general. During the "how to safely bind" segment, Dr. Ng says a myriad of things to address safety issues. The most important (imo) are the ones along the lines of "get breathable binders, because the alternative traps moisture, which can lead to bacterial infections," and "dont get binders which are too tight, as they can worsen breathing conditions, and cause rib/shoulder pain or injuries."

The moral of the story isn't "dont buy binders from Amazon, they're guaranteed to not be safe." It's "research the company and options available before purchasing your binder."

In my experience (buying for my boyfriend), Tomboyx was high quality, but very loose. Alternatively, gc2b was a very average experience, not completely flattening his chest, but at the same time, saving his ribs from damage. We have yet to try other larger brands like WIVOV or something, but making blanket statements like "Amazon binders are unsafe" is really not helpful. Binding can be so important and helpful for trans men, although I'll let someone more qualified say their piece on that. I feel as though I'm unqualified.

Hey, PSA for younger/newer transmascs:

Tumblr has been showing targeted ads for "FTM binders" off Amazon. They look like this:

Do not buy these.

A binder is a piece of medical equipment. If you use one incorrectly, or use a poorly made one, you can really fuck up your ribs. This article from the Cleveland Clinic talks about how to bind safely.

A $14 binder is guaranteed not to be safe. There's a reason reputable companies charge more- sometimes a lot more. They have to carefully design binders so they don't crush your ribs or make you sick.

You know how everyone says Don't Bind With Duct Tape? Don't bind with Amazon binders.

[mrs-monaghan]

https://x.com/gyeolgol/status/1884864333059965307

I used to see a lot of arguments on tl who the eyes in JIMIN’s WHO is. Army arguing it’s V while Jikookers arguing it’s JK. Me being a jikooker wanted it to be Jk but wasn’t seeing any resemblance at all. JK’s are very specific boba eyes and the billboard was nothing like that. So I thought it might be cgi and not any real person’s.

but I think now I’m convinced it is tae’s.. because these both are extremely similar. It’s almost like the same pic. And I don’t think it’s weird when BTS, especially Jimin, praise tae’s visuals.

So I’m team Tae for WHO BB pic 😀👍

It's not weird if Jimin uses any member on that MV. But the member still has to make sense. And with how things are atm i really dont see JM using V I was going to just ignore this really, but the asks keep coming and from Jikookers too so here I am, ig. It's time to stop the madness. I always forget Vminers exist until they pull some shit like this and I'm like

Anygays, idk if you noticed but OP there did not even use the photo that Jimin used in the MV

This is how the pic actually looks like:

Why didn't they use the OG? And why are people just eating this up? 🙄

Anon, who agrees with Vminers. Where are the moles? If Jimin wanted us to know it was V on that Billboard, why would he have V's moles edited out? 🤔 I don't see the moles, I don't see the eyebags, and you know who's got those eyebags?

(Thanks @sweetjikook)

This is the accurate photo we've been going by;

And for me, this looks more like the one on that Billboard way more than V's. 🤷🏾‍♀️

So, we've established there is no moles, no eyebags and again let's not forget about keep going

We still don't have an answer as to what those 2 words mean apart from the fact that they popped up in AYS. A show that Jimin did with JUNGKOOK.

Tweet

Anon you're team V and ig that's fine. But when I do my math i still end up with JK. But to each their own ig. 😁

[mossadspypigeon]

okay i’m gonna say something and people won’t like it/sta will screenshot it etc blah blah i don’t careeee:

i support freedom of speech even for people i disagree with and tbh hate (like actual neo nazis lmao), because i want to know what they are saying and believing. freedom of speech that isnt incitement is important.

(and also? i hate trump lmao. i did not vote for him. i did vote tho :))

however, if you are here on a visa, a student visa especially, and you spend your time NOT GOING TO CLASS and occupying campus buildings, trashing campus buildings, calling for intifada (aka violence), using hate speech, harassing other students, PROTESTING KIDS HOSPITALS, committing hate crimes, etc: you should have your visa revoked. you are not a citizen and being in ANY other country outside of your own is a privilege. using your visa to cause terror and disrupt lives and jobs is ridiculous.

because YES, thousands of people depend on universities not only to learn but to MAKE A LIVING. as the child of a professor btw they dont make much. but the janitors? bookstore workers? cafeteria workers? secretaries? etc? they get furloughed when students pull this shit, like dumping cement in toilets and occupying and trashing buildings. FURLOUGH USUALLY MEANS NO PAY unless it is stipulated with pay and you have a yearly contract. if you are hourly, you dont get fucking paid.

how do these little fucks support the PROLETARIAT, THE WORKER, and dont even think of the ones affected by their actions?

citizens who do this? should be arrested and prosecuted in a court of law, or at the very least held responsible by the university and made to pay damages or clean them themselves so some janitor who didnt do shit doesn’t have to.

so yes, if you are here on a student visa and you use it to perpetuate hate and terror…bye. that isn’t freedom of speech. especially when you are not a citizen and you are in this country burning the flag and shit and sending monetary and verbal support to groups that are designated terrorist orgs. that is against the law.

fuck around…find out. i wish biden had done something like this in 2023-2024 when it was really bad, or the universities and states had done a thing to hold these selfish little shits accountable for the actual crimes they have committed. most have not been held accountable.

instead, this will trickle down to affect people here on visas who do nothing wrong.

(btw if you are here on a visa spewing ANY kind of hate, you should have it revoked, not just pro hamas rhetoric.)

[lemoncavitie]

giving something more than just a heart can show more genuine interaction ♡

sometimes our brains are so busy we just mindlessly consume content.

which isnt horrible in of itself, but then that leads to creators wondering if their content is actually being liked.

thats why im coming to love when content creators show works in progress or something thats on going like an unfinished novel or comic. the people who genuinely care will be there through the process.

and if fans dont "genuinely care" its ok, its not like they owe creators that but when people actually stick through it and listen to your creativity, it feels much nicer.

i often get stuck in this rut of "i dont wanna show Wips because i wanna surprise people with the results" but that robs us creators of the vital human interaction that actually spurs us on to continue creating. so many unfinished creations simply because "it wasnt finished"

think of it like when youre having a conversation and you start rambling about a topic youre really interested in.

if the other person is just "listening" and not really giving any feed back, it can kinda feel like youre talking to a wall? but if they show interest, it can make you feel better and more fulfilled about rambling.

we're social creatures, we were made to crave interaction.

No one owes artists anything.

But existence is lonely and sometime you throw hours and hours of effort into a void, on the slim chance it will say something back.

[dwaekkicidal]

mean jeongin with a pussy pump or nipple clamps would be insane💋

i had to do a little research bc i have oddly never heard of a pussy pump before, but OH!!!

apparently one of the things it does is makes you even more sensitive??? which jeongin would eat the FUCK up i fear… he loves getting you to be overwhelmed by building you up so he can break you down (read: rearrange ur guts) but having something else do that for him on days where he’s impatient is dangerous!!!! (for you)

he will abuse this little contraption literally any chance he gets from now on.

not feeling like spending hours overstimulating you? our friendly pump will do most of the job for him in a shorter time!

simply wanting to tease you, even if you’re already horny and sensitive? pump. 🙂

hes overstimulated and needs a breather, but wants to keep making you feel good? oh no what will we- pump.

he’s like cavemen discovering fire😭 straight up in awe and making little noises as he discovers what is does and how well your body reacts to it

after he learns the aftercare, he is a man possessed…

now, im not huge on nipple clamps (solely because i personally dont often get pleasure from my nipples 😭) but i think if its something you’re ok with, jeongin would looove to use some on you

would SPECIFICALLY want the kind that connects the chains on the clamps to either a little collar/necklace or some restraints hehe

he really likes the necklace ones because they just look SO pretty on you and they’re still practical/usable enough for him to get some fun out of it (and the sparkly/gem ones really shine from his camera/video flash…)

however… the restraints one is where he’ll really get mean lol, tugging at the occasionally just to hear you squeak or cry out in surprise. likes fucking you harder than usual just to see you fight your demons over moving your arm too much

likes pulling out a vibrator and teasing along the chain and ONLY the chain to see how long it takes for you to feel it. would even stretch the chain until its almost (or IS) pulling at your poor puffy nipples, and then puts the vibrator on the lowest setting and coos when you whine when he “accidentally” runs the vibrator beside your clamp

his favorite part is when he pulls them off, and his start to aftercare consists very softly sucking your nipples ❤️sometimes just running the softer underside of his tongue over your nipples so that the rougher top side doesnt hurt or overstimulate you

[paingoes]

Rubies - Encounter

the thing i just said i would write >:)

set later into rubies

(Content: living weapon whumpee, whumpee-turned-caretaker?, bad caretaker, multiple whumpees, verbal abuse, conditioning, blood, past trauma, comfort)

LEVON: I wish you’d told me you were tagging along! I would have given you a heads-up. DELTA: thats okay DELTA: it doesnt really bother me DELTA: its nothing i havent seen before LEVON: Yes I’m sure. LEVON: Nevertheless I thought you would appreciate the warning. DELTA: eh

LEVON: I notice this is becoming a bit of a pet project of yours. LEVON: I would have passed more information along to you if I’d known you were interested. In fact I considered doing so in the beginning. LEVON: I was worried you would feel tokenized by it. LEVON: Also to be perfectly honest with you I would prefer that you stay out of imperial territory. DELTA: i think i actually would have felt a bit tokenized by it in the beginning tbh that was probably a good call DELTA: its different if im doing it on my own time DELTA: im sorry i hope you dont think im ignoring your orders by coming here LEVON: They weren’t formal orders. DELTA: i know but still i dont want to come off as disrespectful for it DELTA: i do value your advice i dont mean to blow you off LEVON: Delta, it’s fine. DELTA: okay cool LEVON: It’s going well, then? DELTA: yeah there was only one of them and no one was expecting her to be here clearly DELTA: im not with her right now though im with kitty we are in the server room LEVON: Okay. I’m getting word that there are a few patrollers already orbiting close by, so I’d suggest you wrap it up quick. DELTA: yeah we are finishing up now LEVON: Be careful. DELTA: yessir LEVON: Goodbye. DELTA: bye captain

Kitty looped up another loose cable, one more fire hazard. Delta slipped the phone back into the pocket of his pants. His other hand extended to her to help her up to her feet.

From below, another loud crash.

“Sounds like it’s working.” Kitty’s eyes lit up.

They walk down the bloodstained steps. Most of the place had already been cleared out by the time they arrived. The two of them are almost never at any active sight. Third wave, maybe second wave, if anything. Kitty was IT. Delta did a little bit of everything now, but was too valuable as a psychic to ever endanger with capture.

He was only the second psychic to enter the manor. The first was downstairs, doing everything she could to destroy what was around her. As they descended back to the first floor, they saw the mess she had made of things.

“Get away,” she said, “Get away. Get away.”

The silver collar glistened around her neck. The same light shone just by her eyes, reflected from the tears that were forming there.

Infantry was the one to deal with her — they were being surprisingly gentle about it.

“Easy. Easy, I know you’re scared,” a sniper of all people promised her, both hands raised in a placating surrender. “Let’s all slow down. We won’t hurt you.”

“No!” she shouted back. She was crying in earnest now. 

“We’re going to get you help, okay? But we need to go now.”

“I don’t want to go! I can’t!” 

In that exact instant, Delta noticed that her collar was broken in places. It was malfunctioning. Her powers were slipping through the cracks.

“Get away from me!” Her voice was shrill, pitched with panic. “Stay back or I’ll - I’ll-“

As she said it, a little halo of crystals was forming in a blaze right by her head. It was a crown of glass. In the space above her, the shards appeared out of thin air.

Kitty stepped forwardly slightly. It did something to him then, to hear her slip back into sweetness. The words had the same gentle tone that she’d used for him when they’d first dredged him up out of the water. When he was scared.

“It’s okay,” she promised. “You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. We want to help, okay? Just wanna help.”

“Leave me alone!” the girl yelled back. In the same instant, her right hand cut an arc through the air.

The glass flew like shrapnel. They were small pieces, but hard and razor sharp. She managed to pierce quite a few of them. But what Delta saw most precisely was the shard that flew only inches from Kitty’s face. Just barely missing her.

It was mostly adrenaline that moved him then;  his heart was beating too quickly for him to make sense of it. But in the next second, he’d zeroed in on the psychic.

The pulse knocked her back into the wall. It didn’t hurt — he knew exactly how to make it hurt and he didn’t — but it had shocked her. He caught her wrist, pinning it there. The hands were conduits. Though it was still possible to use their powers without moving an inch, the immobility gave the impression of helplessness. That’d be enough for now.

“Stop.”

She went still, but there was tension rigged in every inch of her body.

“You do not use your powers without permission.” His voice was low, more venomous than he meant it to be. “That is the first thing they teach you and there is no excuse for having forgotten it.”

She shrank away from that. They were sensitive to scolding — every single one of them.

“Sorry,” she whispered. She flexed her fingers where they were held. Little shards of glass were still raining softly from the ceiling.

“Listen to me. We are leaving. It doesn’t matter if you want to or not. You’re not going to fight them. And you’re going to do as they ask. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You do? You’re going to behave yourself? Because you can just as easily leave here in chains if you don’t.”

“Yes, sir,” she swallowed. She refused to look at him.

It was an acceptable surrender. He released her wrist, but not before wrenching it in the same direction that the others were waiting. He pointed.

“Go.”

She went obediently. One of the medics hovered their hands by her shoulder, not quite touching, but guiding her over to the exit.

There were little indentations in her skin where his claws had been.

He’d cowed her. Delta sat there for a second, alight in the afterglow of cruelty. It hadn’t felt good, but alarmingly enough, it had felt natural. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d learned from the best, after all. 

The thought made him sick.

Kitty was staring at him. A couple of them were. He knew before he even turned around. 

Sorry you had to see that, he almost said. But that seemed a bit inadequate, all things considered. He said nothing instead. Already, he felt a blush rising to his cheeks.

He moved to her, side-stepping carefully around the littered glass. Kitty still looped her arm in through his own. She didn’t hate him for it, which would have been about the worst thing he could imagine. 

“That was kinda fucked up,” she whispered to him as soon as they’d climbed onto the carrier.

“Fucked up of me?” he asked.

“Yeah, a little fucked up of you!”

Delta nodded. He’d assumed that was what she meant.

“She’ll be fine,” he exhaled. “Believe me, she’s more than used to it.”

“They really talked to you like that?” Kitty frowned.

Ungrateful. Disrespectful. Brat. Don’t you ever-

Delta bit his lip, nodding. Used to it. He traced the skin around his collar with the tips of his fingers.

“I don’t care if she hates me,” he decided. “As long as she’s out. Of all the things she has to get over, she’ll barely remember this one.”

Something about that didn’t sit right, though. 

~

Worse than cruelty was unpredictability. He worried about playing the same games that Simon had — pulling rank one second and coddling the next. It was a mean thing to do. He thought it’d be better if he just never saw her again. The ones looking out for her now could teach her in their own time. He wouldn’t further disrupt their signals.

This resolution, once he came to it, barely lasted the length of an hour.

“Can I see her?” he peeked into the quarters where they kept her.

The girl sat idly on the edge of the bed, both hands folded in her lap just the way she’d been trained to. Her hair had come undone — and now furled into spirals at the base of her neck. She’d gone dead-eyed. That was exactly how they wanted them.

She still startled when he entered. 

“Sorry,” she said without hesitation, with no conscious effort. “I’m sorry, sir.”

He used to think he was good at apologizing, after a lifetime spent groveling for forgiveness. It had been such a difficult day when he first realized that that wasn’t what anyone wanted from him anymore.

“Easy. Hey.” He raised both hands up slightly in surrender. “Not gonna hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re okay.”

The look she gave him in return suggested she did not — could not — believe him. Fair. She was less than one day out, after all. He didn’t even bother to correct her on the honorific. If she was anything like him, it would take years to undo the habit.

Her chest rose and fell without her eyes ever leaving him, like an animal backed into a corner. He moved slowly for her sake, lowering himself until he sat cross-legged on the Persian carpet.

He thought he was good at apologies once, before he knew what they were supposed to be. By now, he was good in earnest. He’d been a fast learner all his life — and pride was something he’d never been afforded.

“I’m sorry for speaking to you like that. It won’t happen again. No one here will ever speak to you like that. I only did it because we were short on time and we wanted to get you somewhere safe. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

His hands moved nervously against his sleeves. He almost stopped them, before remembering he didn’t have to. When he looked up, she was still staring unblinking. Her jaw has loosened a bit.

No one had apologized to her in a very long time. She had no script to follow for it. So when she said something completely unrelated, it came as no real surprise:

“What are you going to do with me, sir?” 

There was something like betrayal in her voice. That hurt most of all.

“You’re like me,” she realized.

For some reason, this almost embarrassed him. In Galatea, his abilities are mostly rumors. Even the ones who knew for certain still assumed he was low-level. There were only a handful who knew the full extent of it. But for the most part, psychics recognized their own. 

“I came the same way,” he said softly. “This was a rescue. You haven’t been stolen. It’s okay if you don’t believe that right now. But you’re free. Only rule is that you can’t hurt anyone while you’re here — everyone follows that one, not just you.”

“I wouldn’t-“ she said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, sir. Please.”

“It’s okay. You’re not going to be punished for it,” he said. “I’m not mad at you. No one is.”

Just scared, for a second. Scared of her, just like they’d been of him. The fear is what drove people crazy, what made them decide it was right to keep them in chains all his life. She was scared out of her mind, too. But no one ever cared about that.

“You’re safe,” he promised. “I know it doesn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel like it as first either — and I know I just made you feel unsafe. But it won’t happen again. No one will ever treat you like that again.”

“…Yes, sir,” she agreed, looking down at her own shoes. 

It wasn’t sinking in all the way. He didn’t sigh, even though he wanted to. He couldn’t believe how patient Kitty and Apollo had been with him in those early days. He’d never be grateful enough. He’d never be good like them, not really. All he could do was try.

“Tell them if you need anything,” he suggested. “It’s not a trick question. They’ll get it for you if they can. And they won’t punish you for asking.”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded.

Poor kid, he thought dimly. The thought surprised him. He’d never thought anything of it before, when he’d been in her position. It all just felt normal. The way he was meant to behave. It was only after years of living outside of it that he could see it for what it was.

He stood up wearily from his spot on the ground. She flinched a bit as he did, but he knew he shouldn’t take it personally.

“You can sleep too, by the way,” he reminded her. “You don’t need to ask permission.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said. There was actual relief in her voice when she answered that time. She’d been waiting to hear it.

~

The first thing he did after closing the door was go to find Kitty. She’d been curled up by the bay windows when he finally spotted her. He climbed onto the cushion next to her. She was peering at him from over the edge of her laptop screen.

“All good?” she purred.

“She’ll be fine.” He nodded. As fine as any of them could be. He really did think that his own cruelty towards her would only scrape the surface of all that she would have to recover from. But that wasn’t an excuse.

“Thank you for being kind to me,” he said softly. It sounded almost childlike now. But it was far from the first time he’d said it. “Even when I was being difficult. You were always nice.”

“You were never difficult!” Kitty gasped. “What are you talking about? You’re my favorite.”

That alone would’ve been enough to make him cry last year. Even now, he got close.

~~~

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @floral-comet-whump @littlebookworm69

@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem @chiswhumpcorner

@bacillusinfection @ichortwine @whump-queen @lumpywhump

@jumpywhumpywriter @sir-fenris

[flowermist7432]

Taking the "Fix" outta the equation what I am gonna say is deliberately a scoffer, and generally coined as Unhelpful; because the ones saying it are often misunderstanding parents or masses of "Arm-Chair Girlies" who think being condesending about therapy and medications is all anyone ever needs.

But, sincerely start trying to go outside. Put time out of your day to find a specific spot that you feel most comfortable and make it a habit. Make it a time that you can look forward to! Walking the dog, Biking, exercise, reading, gardening, bird watching. If you disabled and just find it hard for whatever reason- maybe open a window or sit in the backyard, porch. Open your bedroom curtains for all thats heavens.

And always, ALWAYS get dressed before you head out. I think its best to put on an outfit you really like and can be comfortable in! Im not saying you HAVE to get dressed to the nines, but I am saying dont go out looking like a bum. I dont care what your top shirt is or make up or any o' that, but you gotta brush your hair and put on some sorta pants. This also helps you get into the mindset of "I am going somewhere". I even use this trick for when I am not even going anywhere! I just put on my clothes and shoes and It immediately makes me concious and alert and even start thinking "hm well I am dressed i COULD go outside..."

In the words of Jake the dog;

"Yeah? Dont you always call sweatpants 'give up on life' pants Jake?"

"I do because peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house, even if its just for ice cream or TP or whatevs."

[mtx-lol]

rare instance of me being actually really happy with a design

actually gonna word vomit about it;

this came to me the mili, picosecond ive finished colouring the third redesigns which is now completely out of a date of ever seeing the sun so have fun mulling over that lol .

anyways so basically, ive discovered this technique of limiting to 3 or 2 themes for each character, to which i built apon with an overall theme for the whole media and have it paired up with the characters individual theme. ive decides to try for a more flexible or abstract dressing theme for tam, being duality since yknow her hybrid species/transitioning species kinda thing (in hindsight it shouldve been asymmetry but whatevs), the rest was roadsigns and scout.

originally it was going to be a flower, then it was going to be melded skulls and roses but just decided on a skull, the back of her head was a weak resemblance of this broken solar panel thing ? still dont know, but it was cool; this was supposed to be an attempt at symbolism of her trying to weaponise her unique kind of loneliness, being a hybrid and having unconventional origins in the sense of her childhood and the abyssals, trying to replicate a dishonering danger with the horns coming out as well, stabbing away any approachers. the weird cut snout with teeth was supposed to be the top half of a mouth but i thought it would be funnier if it was more a collector showcase base for her weird teeth collection fixation, all from the underground visits john used to take her with when she wasnt older and sicker, a rare interlude of her bleak-less worldview and dull colours.

the spikes on the skull is actually sharpened loose metal from railings, poles, machines, etc, and she uses to have more but she snapped them off when the gun jammed. its meant to be a transition from the skull to the metal plate and was meant to replicate the more grandiose version in my head.

idk if i ever properly explained the diamond earing on her left side but its an earing that john will be shown wearing and he decided to give to her as part of his family, but due to her massive fears of her ears being ripped off with it or with anything (headcanons will be supplied, soon enough), she decided to add it to her hat, which is funny because i was going to pierce her with chains but it wouldve been a) too heavy and b) reminded me too much of this guy in secondary school math class who publicly announced his thought of putting a pencil between a earring hoop, so. (sorry)

also the necklace is a variation of johns that she tried to replicate in her own style, idk if that was obvious but john is her biggest reason of and for life.

what else, uhh the yellow tape around is meant to diverage anyones attention from her face or her in general, yknow, 'look down, look away' likes shes shy guy or smthin. its her anxieties, her self-consciousness she tries to comfort with a shield of fear projected onto others, its also a self-poke like 'this girl right here is a CRIME SCENE!!!'

the weird thing over her shirt is supposed to be a ripped version of the shirt she used to wear in earlier versions, a sign of shifting unrecognisablility, breaking out yet still clinging onto the puzzle pieces for a cocoon that kept you safe in the first place. she knows shes tam, not traviler, but something in her wants tomorrow to be the day the hat is over her eyes and the trench coat is the amber touch of anyone she loved. its a drastic, dramatic life change that cant magically happen overnight, shes 22, but theres always a lingering, loose ended however.

uhmmm, she has many belts that i wanted to make into a loose replica of rock climbing belts because i think she really really really really rwalyh REALLY likes climbing up and away but i thought it would be funnier (common pattern realised) if she didnt know that rock climbing is a real profession or that she'd always would do it too tight or loose so she just gave up.

the saws came as an afterthought from this pin and i was like "whaf if she wash bug" but then i realised if i added in another theme i would have to restart and it would be over complicated AGAIN so i just did it with saws because she nearly got her head cut off by a saw and also like a little nod to her HORRENDOUS sitting positions like she would never sit straight, its either upside down, down on the side, manspreading like its a dentist appointment or 6-2 legs on the floor its quite queer of her.

elsewhere, uhhhhh, one of her makeshift shoulder pads was supposed to resemble the wings of an animal like how i originally drew her necklace but like, i kept on forgetting and kept trying something else until i just replicated the other one with less details, nothing smart i just thought it would fit her (no melted keys, she doesnt like stabbing herself anymore)

anything else...........she has a fang........ uhhh....she ripped off the oversleeves as a get back from the guy who took played with a chain on her hat while she was half awake or smthin idk still hasnt fleshed it out properly........ she is the worlds renowned owner of the most split ends (and she will finger brush through all of the knots with pride god damnit).........uhhhshe doesnt looking at mirrors.......ive made a fanfic about that....i may have realised i have a weird sense of aesthetic attraction to her.....this is a repost cuz i didnt like how little it was but now i have ensnared myself in only 2 doodles per canvas.......i am very irresponsible about my storage space but what else is new....... tam appeared right before me in my dreams................ i have taken 20 screenshots of the updated lore document of the transcribed conco between her john........ yeah thats it

theres probs more ive missed or havent come up with but thats enough words for today,

if you actually soaked in everything ive read um thanks, watch this be outdated within 3 days or hideaway makes me hide away all of my headcanons that has been conjured since december.

k byeeee

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

I’m going to preface this by saying i am against faking disorders and therefore anti endogenic “systems” but can you genuinely explain why you believe that endos are valid./srs i just wanna know your thought process

- the vast majority of endogenic systems arent claiming to have a dissociative disorder. and the ones who do arent claiming to have no trauma whatsoever, just that the trauma didnt cause their system to form. (or theyre being really pedantic about the word "usually" in the dsm5 but i can only think of one person who does that). i dont think that counts as faking a disorder.

- i also dont think its hurting anyone for people to have an experience thats vaguely similar to a disorder without having said disorder.

- i try to respect people's beliefs, even if i dont understand or agree with them. even if i didnt believe endogenic plurality was a thing, i still would respect people who do believe it. because in my opinion, it harms nobody. im not going say that im anti-past life therians just because i dont believe in reincarnation, or put anyone religous on a dni because i dont think that any higher power exists.

- and speaking of: werewolf therians arent faking clinical lycanthropy. undeadkin arent faking cotards syndrome. so following that logic, nontraumagenic systems arent faking did/osdd. [I am not trying to use either of these disorders as a "gotcha", I am just explaining the mindset I have. But if anybody with clinical zooanthopy or cotards syndrome would like me to delete this part, please let me know and i will do so immediately. /srs]

- the brain is weird. multiple identities/selves/whatever without childhood trauma probably isnt the weirdest.

- also i might be misremembering but arent theyre multiple authors who have said that they can actually talk to and/or hear their characters? i highly doubt every single author who has experienced that has did and introjects of their characters and just doesnt realize it.

i hope at least some of this makes sense 👍

[silly-lil-scribbles]

well the first was the one i went to a lot when i was really young, it was in berthoud where i grew up half the time (my mom lived like 45 minutes away in a different town). it was a cool little spot, i mean yk really small and it was the only one in town cuz its a pretty small town (used to be?? a ton of new ppl moved there out of nowhere and built new gross stupid neighborhoods which took out a lot of room that was there for the wildlife and it sucked which is why we moved) (im still hella upset about that i kinda wanna kill everyone about it). but yeah it was pretty neat. second library is pretty cool too, its the one in the town down by the foothills, you have to pass through there to get to my fathers property. another small one, only went a couple times so i dont have a strong opinion on it really. they did have a comic i had been looking for tho so that was cool. third one is in the last city i lived (second last ??), that was a huge library had lotsa good stuff. the most daunting one ive ever been to for sure bc a lot of people actually go there so my social anxiety was always rlly high, but lotta good books at least. still my least favorite tho cuz it was the least cozy, had stairs and a fountain and lotta glass and metal. the one i go to now is pretty cool tho, they do not have any of the like three books ive looked for which is devastating but yk its pretty small so i cant blame them. its not super cozy bc theres not enough places to sit and theres always kids in the computer area playing games and children terrify me (partially bc they usually yell slurs at me but also just in general) but i still like it! if u actually read this thank you for listening

My dad was sorting through his wallet and the cat was interested in what he was doing so he started holding his cards down for the cat to sniff and explaining to him what they all were.

[clemelntine]

Heartkillers ep 10 uncohesive stray thoughts

With screenshots cuz I take to many and I'll feel like that's wasteful if I don't at least use them for a post

God, this scene reeks of codependency. But like in a good way, yknow. In an evidence of love way. They just don't want to be apart because they care. And I guess cuz they're scared they won't see each other again.

I love Fadel and his consistent morals. He'd been silent, letting Bison get his anger and revenge, cus that is not his main thing, but as soon as he hears any word of deciet or lies, he's right on his feet getting involved.

Yeah that checks.

I have to wonder, tho, if Lilly is a poisoner, why were Fadel and Bisons' parents shot? And why would she train them with a gun instead of the weapon she know best?

That's not the unbelievable part dear. She seems very capable of all that. Look at what she made you do

Acting like some housewives worrying about their husbands away at war or some shit.

Imma be real with you. I wasn't paying attention for a bit, and I read this as "Why don't you try and top Fadel?" and I got a little hopeful for a bit.

We've got a comeback from the -two rings on one finger, no other jewelry- look from style. Love this energy.

For anyone wondering, the first time we saw this was in episode 6 when he was out drinking with Kant, so it might just be what he wears when he goes to get drunk with his buddy. Guess there aren't too many occasions for a mechanic to wear a mid finger index ring. It tends to get in the way a lot when moving (like manual labor). And if you dont wear a ring often, choosing to wear no other jewelry to make your specialty ring pop makes a lot of sense.

Sorry, I looked too deeply into that.

Lillys actress is so stunning. The discomfort and distaste on her face is so subtle but to perfect.

Oh, drama, Keen already knows about (one of) their lovers and tried to kill him. I wonder why he used a gun, tho. The only flashback/scene we saw of them pre assassin, while training, was to show that Keen was a worse shot than Bison and Fadel. Did he improve or was the reason he missed (only hitting styles arm, not killing him) because he still has bad aim.

Also, could the tattoo be Kants' work? It kinda reminds me of his spiderweb arm tatoo, but that doesn't mean its his style (he might not have done his arm one himself), so who knows, maybe they know each other, maybe they don't.

Fucking romantic loser, holy shit. He couldn't see gay people without thinking of his boyfriend

That's not something to be fucking proud of cassie

Nr. 1 god his hair looks fucking good like this

Nr. 2 Mister poetry over here, annoying piece of shit with his lovey dovey words

Ofc Style would instigate a cheer, like this is a cheersquad and not a murder operation

I really need him to stop mentioning it all the time, like he is proud of it or something

Oh, uniform kink. Interesting

Okay, I kinda feel bad for Keen now. Nobody seems to care about him (except Thanon ig, I hope nothing bad happens to him). Lilly didn't even care enough to use him.

Also, jesus Fadel, you're brothers. You've never put in even an hour of effort to ask about his day or some shit, rude. (I get that they are all just a product of Lillys creation but but this seems a lil excessive)

With the tattoos. That is quite a bold plan. There is like a 50/50 change they (rich ladies) are put off by the tattoos. Guess some might see it as an adventure and be into it. It's still a gamble.

Also like how does he know golfing, tho? Had he golfed before, or is Kant just good at improvising, because he looked quite knowledgable.

The way he has lowered himself to look up at her through his lashes, the fucking bitch. Once again using First height for storytelling. This time, Kant has lowered himself to make Lilly feel like she is above him and in control.

Idk if she is open-minded or if she could just smell the gay on him.

Ahw, he cares. Does he expect Keen to do that, tho? Like Fadel knows that he already tried to kill Style and has shot him. He doesn't seem likely to suddenly care about the wishes of his brother, who doesn't even care about him.

Not too sure what it means but i just noticed that Fadel has his whole head and neck angled up while Styles face is pointed to the front and he is just looking up with his eyes, through his eyelashes.

Maybe it's to show that Fadel is more confrontational while Style is more scared of Keen.

Oh, calling his bluff, cute. I dont remember if Fadel backed down when Bison pointed his gun at Style but if he did (i think so) that contrast shows very well how succesfull Lilly has been in driving them apart by making them all think Keen is less capable (mostly because she just didnt let him train)

Ofcourse he has to brag, has to lay out his success (he could have kept it to himself to use it for longer, but whatever, guess he expects to take him out right here, right now). Because Keen doesn't actually have any negative feelings towards Fadel (except maybe jealousy), he mostly just wants to prove himself to be capable. Even though he is holding the gun, it is Lilly who has her finger on the trigger. Without her constant critique, he would have felt the need to do all this. It's really her words that are driving Keen to do this, not Fadel (and Bisons) actions.

Yeah, and i feel like Keen should know that. Doesnt he know about her killing Fadels boyfriend, and he knows she wants Style dead as well, he has all the evidence he needs to see that Fadel and Bison dont have any more freedom or happiness than he does, just more tasks.

The continual cutting to Style while they talk about Fadels ex probably has to tell us something, but i honeslty can't read that much off his face. Is he jealous?

You're telling me Fadel couldn't figure that out himself. Even if he didn't think about it too much then (too sad or something), now with this new info he has about her, it shouldn't come as that much of a shock. She killed your parents and is trying to kill your boyfriend. It is not odd to think this patern is connected.

The desparation in both his eyes, his words, and his voice; it's fucking heartbreaking

Squished Fadel, perfection

Styles speech was a lil akward, but he got his point across and he has never really been a poet before. The honesty, although clunky, makes it seem more vulnerable and true, more like Style

Fav scenes

Fadel and Bisons emotional breakdown in the abandoned building. Omg the feelings..

Kant golfing was very cute.

Kant and Bison in the empty pool. Shit was stunning.

Fadel and Styles last scene. Maybe I just like Fadel crying and strong emotions.

For anyone wondering about my statistics, I took a total of 180 screenshots. 81 of Fadel and or Style, 58 of Kant and or Bison, 10 of Keen, 8 of Bison and Fadel together, 7 of Reurat, 5 of Lilly, 5 of more than two characters in a shot, 3 of Kant and Style together, 2 of Lilly and Keen together, and 1 of Babe

[enchantedsword]

okay im going to try and do as many headcanons/ideas i have for this au(now named stone twin au because i cant think of anything else and im bad with being original obviously) most of these are about wukong since hes the one i think about constantly but i guess i have to start somewhere(also i have a few of my headcanons in here that dont just pertain to this au plus a few things from jttw but i didnt feel the need to have them on a separate post), this is mostly just about sunny's(wukong) relationships with others, not everyone but the ones i can think of for now. i also finally figured out how to do read more.

obviously wukong(sunny) would be the more monkey like of the two, hes about a few inches shorter then mk, he's very clingy, loved to cling to pigsys back growing up and still occasionally does especially when not feeling well, also clings to tang and mk and occasionally mei, when the twins were first found he couldnt speak human(he understood it just fine the same way any other toddler would) and while mk couldnt speak monkey he could understand it and played translator until they taught him how to speak human, he still slips into monkey speach when hes really sick or upset/distressed, he prefers it when others play with/style his hair for him(the whole monkey socialization), loves climbing and being in high places and has very high energy when his health isnt acting up, this has caused a few heart attacks

loves both his dads but is closer to tang(we know why even if he himself cant remember) loves to spend time with him learning new things, always begs for stories of tripitaka and what he can of macaque. tang is the one that taught the twins the basics of what was needed for school, and actually does a lot of sunnys lessons himself when hes to sick to go to school, i dont really have a set job in mind for tang yet but i was thinking a historian of some sort that can work from home especially since he has a sick child. its also because of tang that sunny as such a love of reading and learning

with pigsy he's still pretty close, mk being the one closest to him, but hes still loves spending time with him. sunnys not very good at cooking, but he loves clinging to pigsys back and watching while he cooks(as said above its something he never grew out of), pigsy has made sure that sunny can make the foods he actually can eat though. sunny also shares pigsys love of singing and they will have mini concerts when no ones watching.

mk and sunny are very close and slightly co dependent, mk has a lot of anxiety about leaving sunny alone for long periods, sunny has a lot of guilt about this and self blame for mk not having many friends outside of mei and himself, and while hes just as codependent as mk he does make an effort to encourage mk to go out without him. it used to be worse when they were younger, but they both started going to therapy around 10 at sandys suggestion, they still struggle with it but they do have lives and hobbies outside of each other. obviously since sunny doesnt have his memories he cant exactly teach mk how to use the staff and powers, his advice is more of the sibling "well remember when you tried *random thing thats similar to current situation* when we were kids just try that" sunny is the one that eventually pushes mk to try and find an actual teacher at least to teach him to fight properly.

both twins are very talented artists(a canon fact that i just cant get rid of), like i said sunny loves singing and acting/performing but he does have stage fright bad enough to prevent him from doing so outside of his small group of friends/family(this stems from the trauma that always seemed to happen in front of large crowds in jttw poor baby getting affected by everything even if he cant remember). sunny is also the one that gets the better grades of the two despite missing way more school. due to not being able to run off his energy a lot he channels it into his studies and art and writing, he wants to eventually become a professional artist.

mei is obviously just as close to sunny as she is to mk, both of them are chaos and adrenaline junkies, shes his partner in crime when it comes to pranks, she makes sure that he's not alone even on days he doesnt feel well enough to get out bed or hes in the hospital. they both love cute things, and if mei gets a dress she doesnt want she gives them to sunny, especially if its pink(he has a lot of them). she keeps sunny up to date on all the shenanigans that happen while hes in the hospital, including the stuff mk wont say in fear of worrying him.

sandy is the one sunny goes to when he's feeling suffocated and overwhelmed by his familys hovering and overprotectiveness, he finds him to be a very comforting presence and hes a good listener for whatevers bothering him. sunny also likes to help train the therapy cats.

sunny does have a mean streak, especially when its something negative being said about his friends/family, uses his pranks to get back at whoever wronged him, since he's to weak for a physical fight(hes tried once it didnt end badly only because the other person was to shocked to really retaliate sunny did end up breaking the kids nose and his own wrist). the pranks themselves are never cruel or outright harmful just enough to make the person think twice about doing it again

PIF actually manages to figure out who sunny is pretty early on having seen the small family out and about one day, she does assume wukong has reincarnated into a new life, and as much as shes upset with him over what happened with DBK thats still her husbands little brother and one of the ones that help her son, so she leaves them be, looking in from time to time

for DBK he's still got some lingering resentment for being trapped for 500 years. his first thought on seeing sunny is that wukong is just faking and toying with him, his wife does inform him that that is not the case. after that he cant figure out if he's happy about this of not. on one hand he gets to see sunny be the happy carefree person that wukong used to be though he's upset that it'sat the cost of his health, but on the other hand he's lost his little brother and never got to make up. sunny does feel oddly drawn to DBK though hes not sure why but he deems him as immediately safe(much to the concern of everyone else)

red son was obviously very young the last time he saw wukong, so he has no idea who sunny really is, after the initial being enemies thing and getting a few good pranks in on him, they actually get a long well, both being sassy and sarcastic enough to keep up with each other(everyone else is happy that sunny has a new friend even if that friend is kinda of an asshole). red son grew up to hearing stories about wukong both good and bad so he does have some complicated feelings about him, that does carry over to sunny once hes told hes wukongs reincarnation and further complicated when it finally comes to light that he is actually a sealed wukong, in the end red son decides tgat sunny is sunny and still his friend even knowing who he actually his.

the whole macaque situation goes mostly as canon except macaque thinks sunny is just playing around and pretending not to know anything. mk meets macaque the day before sunny is released from the hospital, he follows mk to the hospital to pick him up which is the first time he sees sunny. the fight goes mostly the same but not, in the fact wukong isnt there to fight him and protect mk, but sunny is basically used as a hostage and accused of playing pretend, its sunny being in danger that helps mk get the powers macaque took back. sunny doesnt really know how to feel about the situation at all, hes had a crush on macaque since he was a kid and that same person tried to kill both him and his brother and claims hes someone that hes not. continues to antagonize his his friends and claim he's wukong, and a large part of him still does have feelings for macaque even after all that. hes got a lot of complicated feelsing about it but he is still incredibly pissed that macaque tried to kill his brother and tried to use him to do so. macaque is in for a world of hurt when it comes to the eventual pranks. macaque for a while refuses to believe that sunny isnt pretending, since the alternative is accepting the wukong reincarnated and isnt coming back. overall its very complicated and the family disapproves.

as for sunnys powers and memories and immortalies, they are all under different types of seals and of those there are many keeping them all wrapped up tight. like he could unlock one or two powers but his immortalies and memories seals would be uneffected and vice versa. he does unlock 2 powers during the whole spider queen thing that being his strength and his cloud, however he can't use them for very long without exhausting himself. DBK was the first to notice that sunny had powers during their imprisonment with spider queen, he was able to trigger sunny into activating them which got them free. though DBK did get punched for his efforts, sunny broke his wrist again and immediately passed out, DBK getting them the rest of the way out and bringing sunny to his family

[8thwonderz-ofthewrld]

wooo under the cut

- Do you have a large headcount? -- not sure if ~80 counts as large but if it does then yes. we probably have even more considering all the fragments we dont have logged in simply plural

-Do any headmates in your system have typing quirks? -- yes! i (poob) actually have one but its mainly just scag typing this rn lol

-Does your system have any Non-human headmates? -- *looks at the computer in co-front and our 15 other nonhuman headmates that front regularly* i dont think so

-Is your system neurodivergent? -- hell yeah

-Does your system use neopronouns or xenogenders? -- mhm! im sillygender myself :3

-Do any of the headmates in your system have dyed hair and/or is your hair dyed bodily? -- theres a handful of us that have dyed hair (not sure if the splatoon fictives count as having dyed hair) but we havent gotten the body's hair dyed yet ;-;

-Are there any nonspeaking/nontyping heasmates in your system? -- only a few

-Does your system have angry and/or "dangerous" persecutors? -- yeas

-Do your littles use baby talk? -- only sometimes. and its not like full on baby talk its just shortening of words and stuff

-Do you have a large or complex headspace? -- well. were really bad at visualizing it since we only get a good look at it when the host is fronting but i would say so. my area in headspace is an entire mario kart-style racing track

-Do any headmates in your system have exo-memories? -- a few. simon has the strongest though

-Does your system have any tics? -- probably not

-is your system bad at masking? -- we use 'we' when talking to our friends often, so i would say. kinda.

-Do any headmates in your system have an accent that the body does not? -- no

-Do any headmates in your system speak in a different language? -- mno

-Does your system use things like pluralkit and simply plural? -- yup (our simply plural is eighthwonderz-ofthewrld pls plspls add us /nf)

-are you out about being a system? IRL or online or not at all? -- somewhat

- Do you post headmate intros as their own posts on social media? -- yes, but only when said headmate is fronting and we have the energy. which is not a lot

- Do you make those "headmates that would get us fakeclaimed" posts? -- weve been wanting to for a while. in fact i think we're going to do that right after we're finished with this

- Is your system bodily a minor? -- yea

- Do your headmates date in system? -- yes hehe

- Do headmates have different art styles? -- ross has a slightly different art style from the rest of the system, but other than that i would say not really

The Cooler System Ask Game Based On Things People Fake Claim Systems On

- Do you have a large headcount?

-Do any headmates in your system have typing quirks?

-Does your system have any Non-human headmates?

-Is your system neurodivergent?

-Does your system use neopronouns or xenogenders?

-Do any of the headmates in your system have dyed hair and/or is your hair dyed bodily?

-Are there any nonspeaking/nontyping heasmates in your system?

-Does your system have angry and/or "dangerous" persecutors?

-Do your littles use baby talk?

-Do you have a large or complex headspace?

-Do any headmates in your system have exo-memories?

-Does your system have any tics?

-is your system bad at masking?

-Do any headmates in your system have an accent that the body does not?

-Do any headmates in your system speak in a different language?

-Does your system use things like pluralkit and simply plural?

-are you out about being a system? IRL or online or not at all?

- Do you post headmate intros as their own posts on social media?

- Do you make those "headmates that would get us fakeclaimed" posts?

- Is your system bodily a minor?

- Do your headmates date in system?

- Do headmates have different art styles?

No emojis/numbers just send the full question!

this post is based on this https://www.tumblr.com/million-with-a-b/734832850476695552/space-themed-system-ask-game-based-on-common?source=share ask game but with changed wording and some added questions + no dni on it for those uncomfortable with syscourse.

[dervampireprince]

there was a little interest in me sharing my writing drabbles and ideas about lucien (my visiting king oc) and lysander (my villain oc) as a couple so here's all the things i shared in my discord last week (how was it only last week, it feels like forever ago).

[18+ only, minors dni]

note: lucien and lysander are both trans men with bottom and top surgery

i tried to format this in a way that's readable. it's a mix of different little scenarios including my entire summary of their plot of how they'd meet and get together. i had no idea how to format thisss.

-----------------------------

the message that started it all: peaking in from my uhh 3 hours of drawing as i attempt to make a design for the villain and keep hating what im drawing and scrapping the design and starting again to say hey. you know who'd treat him right? the visiting king

i thought about it as a joke but um. i dont think its a joke anymore.

-----------------------------

What if I shipped them:

Villain submitting looks like him crying, head throne back, sobbing, the king gently and slowly breaking him down, praising him, cradling him

King submitting looks like him on his knees, begging as the villain’s boot presses down onto his cock, begging to be touched however the villain sees fit, villain telling him how useful he is being 

Luce: I missed you. Ly: I was only gone for a week. Luce: Even an hour without your presence feels like a lifetime [kisses his hand]. Ly: [internally: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck] [blushing profusely]

Lysander crying the first time Lucien fucks him because he’s being so gentle, works him open so slowly, tells him how beautiful he is, “Oh Zander,” Lucien coos when he’s finally seated inside him, Lysander embarrassed at how emotional he is, but Lucien pulls his hands from his face, kisses his them, tells him he’s perfect.

Lysander leaving Lucien with a cock ring on while he’s away.

Lucien is on his knees, ring around his straining cock. His moans are muffled, his hair tugged back and forth, as Lysander fucks his face. When Lysander pulls his cock out, Lucien begs. “Please Zander, please let me fuck you.” “Hmm,” Lysander pretends to think about it while Lucien keeps babbling, pleading over and over. “And what if I want to fuck you?” “Anything,” Lucien doesn’t even blink. “As long as my skin gets to touch yours, please, give me anything.” And what really can Lysander do with that other than have Lucien bent over the bed, fucking into him over and over, every time he gets close… he stops. He edges himself inside Lucien’s hole, all the while Lucien is unable to come from the ring around his cock. Once Lucien is relaxed and out of his mind enough to stop begging, to just take whatever Lysander gives him, to stop thinking, that’s when Lysander will let him come.

okay so how i see it happening.

lucien somehow finds out about what's going on in lysander's city and wants to help. they start meeting each other. lysander does not trust him, doesn't want to trust him, because he's never been able to put any trust or faith in a nobility or royalty or higher ups. but lucien just seems so... nice. good. and that can't be right, no one can be that nice without something to gain, without some agenda.

but time passes. lucien is really just that nice. and he sees good in lysander. and lysander knows what he's doing isn't wrong, he believes what he's doing is right, but he also doesn't really believe he's a good person. and lucien tells him he is. and that annoys him because it makes him *feel*.

and lucien ends up helping too much. or doing something to help lysander's people that makes lysander feel inept. who does lucien think he is, swooping in with his riches and power. doing things for them lysander couldn't because he didn't have the money. and maybe lysander takes it as lucien trying to make him feel small and poor, but that isn't how lucien meant it. and lysander knows that deep down. but it's easier to get angry at lucien than accept that it's okay if he wants or needs this man's help. so he gets angry at lucien.

and lysander know's he's wrong for blowing up at him. for pushing him away. and after an amount of time of feeling sorry for himself, he goes to see lucien. shows up on his doorstep and apologies. and lucien just accepts it. this stupid fucking kind man just accepts it, says he understands, *he* apologies for overstepping, that he should have consulted lysander, doesn't want to cross any boundaries, tells lysander he's doing a good job and that wall inside lysander just comes crumbling down.

lysander stays the night, in his own room lucien has set aside. and in the morning lucien invites him for breakfast. and then on a walk, touring his gardens. and lysander asks what the fuck all of this is. and lucien says he just wants to help, but admits to having one ulterior  motive. and lysander thinks finally he's got him but the lucien says "i wanted an excuse to keep seeing you".

lysander calls him a stupid man. blusters and tries to act like he doesn't understand what lucien is getting at, but he does. and lucien just stands there patiently, until lysander has finished ranting, and then asks lysander if he can court him. if he can kiss him.

and lysander says yes.

Lysander telling Lucien to stop fucking him like he’s gonna break. Lucien says he’s not into causing pain. But Lysander’s not asking for pain, he’s just asking if Lucien ever wants to just pound into him. It takes some convincing that he’s allowed too (Lucien is worried he’s too big and could too easily hurt someone) but Lysander assures him that he wants to be fucked hard.

[ganondoodle]

so, after this phase of depression, i am back at too many ideas at once and getting overwhelmed by all of it bc i cant do it all and dont know how to decide which one to focus on or which ones actually good and not just a brainfart

(so, some more botw2/totk rewritten ideas-

mostly text but i am unsure what to actually work on and draw or if its even any good, so id be very happy to hear your opinion on some of this qoq)

-was thinking about designing the sonau even though they might not show up physically, to keep their mystery alive, but i am playing with the idea of a dead one preserved in crystal in a larger cave, perhaps their last stronghold, i like the thought of them being rather small monkey like creatures with long tails that end in a light fern looking thing

--been also thinking more about the ancient queen zeldas and ganondorfs relationship bc i feel its compelling for them to have had a much more personal grudge agaisnt each other than i previously planned, gives more weight to everything-

though it is mostly background stuff that is not directly shown in the game, except for environmental storytelling -which botw was pretty good at- and diary entries you can discover (perhaps finding it and then telling riju and a gerudo researcher about it since it would be in ancient script zelda hadnt encountered before?), current thought was to have there be a secret lair that one of ganondorfs daughters used to live in after the sealing disaster sent both kingdoms into conflict, and with their mother dying in battle the eldest daughter would surrender and agree to whatever the princess of hyrule demanded, while the younger one would not bow down and those that followed her split off to live in the gerudo highlands, like another reoccuring theme with this being the prescursor to what happens with the shiekah and yiga later- of those are none left by this time (or should there?) and the diary of the younger daughter talks about her fathers secret hideout having being sealed shut as a sign of respect- it is inaccessible due to the structures beign damaged, but its serving as a hint there will be more; it will be made accessible after the mid game fight with ganondorf, in which you see the scene of the sealing, and he changes his position from hyrule castle that fell into the underground to the innards of the plateau- that being the final dungeon- in his room, might also be a part of his diary, at least from his younger days, and a bracelet of obviously hyrulian origin, which is meant to imply-

that the ancient queen zelda and him were in love once when they were both younger, though neither really acted on it (noble families pressures and conflictions yippie) until it was decided she would be married to a young knight of a noble hyrulian family, as it had been per tradition, after which they would not be able to visit each other anymore in the way they sued to as her father wanted her to prepare to take the throne and was way more strict than before, with one last meeting in that secret chamber and her leaving a bracelet there as a gift-

now heres the problem i ran into, that they had feelings for each other and used to be very close, as well as both having their own families later on is pretty solid and i want to keep all that but i also randomly thought about weaving the drama further (in that noble families kind of way especially, though again this would only be mentioned in his diary entry from the secret room you unlock, and since his younger daughter doesnt mention anything at all save for makign a point about not rummaging through her late fathers things out of her deep respect for him, its pretty clear she didnt know and neither did anyone else except for ganondorf himself and perhaps his mothers, this is all meant to make all of these characters have more depth even with getting little to literal no screentime, not to be a big focus)- so there was the stray idea of the ancient queen having a daughter 'just' after being married to that hyrulian knight.. and it being obviously not his, but gerudo, as gerudo traits are rather dominant(i think?) and the knight and ganondorf look nothing alike, so to avoid any sort of royal disaster that daughter would be secretly given to ganondorf to raise instead (which he would gladly do), and the official story being it was stillborn (the whole thing being worked out by a few maids sworn loyally to their queen .. im torn about the queen herself knowing or not tbh or if that even matters in the grand scheme of things (though i do like the idea of her knowing but acting like it is nothing to live up to being a wise and proud queen now thats shes under that pressure, she would change alot during her time of reign, going from that more typical unsure of herself but trying her best princess to a self confident cold and calculating queen, maybe he could even make a short remark about it), again this is still just vaguely implied background details most wouldnt even find out about, i just .. like to think about the background of things that make sense and give more weight to it all but arent what it revolves around and its neither essential to know, might as well be one of those things people would likely hear about in youtube videos)

i didnt find or dont know if theres any rule that princess zelda cant have siblings (i think she had a brother once but idk that may be different about sisters is the question) bc ganondorfs older daughter then not awakening any special (zelda reserved) powers could be simply bc she wasnt trained to do so (perhaps she would be able to hear things like zeldas often do but that too being only mentioned offhand) and him just not putting any focus on royal hyrulian traditions, it could be a secret rite too and honestly .. why would he try to train her to be the traditional princess of hyrule, awakening powers that are reserved for the hyrulian royals would make everything go haywire in terms of the secret about her mother, though im worried it would seem like her being gerudo is seen as 'tainted' instead, like she isnt a 'real' or 'pure' zelda and that being the reason, which somethign i do not like at all

either way that second part is purely an idea that i am 50/50 about using since its really not a big deal in the end and ultimately doesnt change much except make their relationship a bit more messier

---ahem, anyway, i also decided i wanted to model most sky islands after this one photo in my collection since it looks cool and would make sense to have these island be worn down by constant winds

---- i also want to flood the tabantha canyon with the forgotten temple and considered actually breaking of some pieces of landmass, like it is now a giant island, imagine akkala a kilometer away from the mainland for example, it wouldnt inherently change much about the structure but it would make it feel alot more different and provide good ground for different kinds of interactions since the people there would need to adjust to that, you can melt ice around the riot region easier than you can reattach a broken off giant piece of land after all

[kakashiskunai25]

Thinking about how Kakashi used to ignore Gai at first but then slowly noticed how determined and strong willed he is which made him get curious about gai and start to pay more attention. Then in academy days he accepted being guy's eternal rival and had defended + comforted him when he was getting bullied over his father as well as when he lost his dad as kakashi called Dai " the coolest ninja he knows", he cared about Gai's well being.

The withdrawal in anbu era most likely from both trauma and Kakashi being scared of letting gai in since he thought he lost everyone who was close with him. He didn't want to lose gai too. Tho he saw all of Gai's efforts of trying to break his walls and be there for him which led to Kakashi returning to Gai as an open and loyal friend the way he was for him when Kakashi was losing himself. Kakashi also told him not to use the 8th Gate which would cost Gai his life and Kakashi losing him even if it was necessary to win the war, I love that Gai held it off till the last moment and saved Kakashi for one last time before using it to fight Madara 😭.

Gai also knew kakashi wasn't really " keen on living" during the Root, and he always make sure to remind Kakashi that he always want him by his side, he matters to Gai so much🥹

As much he would deny Kakashi loves his company because he forgets all about the darkness of the world when he is with Gai and he definitely feels safe with him cause if he tries to save everyone, who is going to save him? He also said he slept without nightmares that night they slept together. I also think Gai brings out his inner child who got lost after the death of his father and his team and lets Kakashi act carefree with him which is very fun to witness 🥹💜

We see him much more emotionally open with Guy in boruto, like crying in front of him over his favorite novel, imagine younger Kakashi doing that lol. I love that he gives Gai those soft looks full of care, admiration and love. Gai has lost his father when he was young like Kakashi and also lost one of his students as well as his physical ability and Kakashi knows how hard it is for him since he can relate to that and even informs others that Gai has things he is sensitive over too. I also believe having similar painful experiences makes them understand each other better and be closer.

He also would throw his logic out of the window if he had any chance to heal Guy and make his life better.

In Stories of Konoha I just absolutely adore how Kakashi treats Gai, he is worried about him but that doesn't make him see Gai any differently, treat him like he is weak or anything, he does the quite the opposite and supports him. It is love, it doesn't have to be romantic but it is there and that's what matters🥰

In conclusion, we dont need to see them confess or kiss to know they love each other. Kakashi and Gai just have pure love between them💚